Wrestling with God’s mortal no and terrible yes

What is that about? Have you ever had moments in your life when you are standing in the face of a major life choice and you have the ominous sense that one path could be mortal and the other choice will not be easy but very difficult?  I know…a long question.  I believe I’m on the edge of the very serious with God.  I’m standing on the edge of a wave that could take me in one of two directions.  One direction seems ominous the other difficult yet with the possibility of peace, healing, love, mercy, justice, and the in-breaking of sunshine at the end of the wave when it settles on the shore of my life. 

In contemplation of these paths I sense God saying no to the ominous and a difficult yes to the other.

Avoiding the ominous and choosing the difficult yes to God will not be easy.  It will probably be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life.  Pray for me.

Lord God,

I don’t want to kick against the goads.  I want my life to give you glory.  I want my life to be a gift to others.  I don’t want to be on the receiving end of Your displeasure.  Help me Lord God in this difficult hour!  I pray that my brothers and my sisters will tarry with me. Amen. So be it!

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.

 Beautiful, horrible; magical terrible,
Reason to laugh and smile,
Reason to cry yourself to sleep at night, start a fight.
Make up break up wrong or right.
Heaven for all it’s worth, can equally be hell right here on earth.

And no one really knows anything about it but everybody needs it.
We can’t live without it.
And that’s the way it goes, dark as day bright as night.
Just some other thing you might hear if you ask what love feels like:

And it feels like joy, and it feels like pain.
And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain.
An excuse for dieing, reason to live.
And if you don’t know that’s what love is…
Love is…
 – Mary J. Blige What love is



4 thoughts on “Wrestling with God’s mortal no and terrible yes

Add yours

  1. Man I think this is the crossroad that takes us to another dimension of relationship with him, the marking of serious discernment. I tell you what is interesting about times like these, neither of the paths involve a sinful act so the situation becomes complicated. Normally as a believer the enemy is exposed by a devious and sinful act preceding the decision. When we mean to please God his voice starts to ring louder, the closer we get to making the God choice.

    Once again, great post!


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